Monday, November 17, 2008

I don't Know Which One I Loathe More

Charlotte's and Gretchen's boyfriends piss the hell out of me (if you don't know why, refer to previous posts where I have bitched about them plenty of times before). God they just friggin piss me off, I can't wait until they break up. Other than the fact that they are both nasty vile beings, they capture Charlotte and Gretchen's attention ALL the time leaving little time for me, (I know that its really just Gretchen and Charlotte's loss by not spending time with me because they experience a fabulousness deficit, but none the less, why would I want to see them suffer?)

Jeffery(Charlottes lover) is so rude that he doesnt bother to say a damn thing to me and Jake (Gretchens lover) is just simply obnoxious to associate with. Jeffery hasnt even said thank you for the sweater that I let him borrow which pisses me off (you dont want to have to deal with a pissed off Mr Bitch; there are few things in the world that are worse). Today, Charlotte was with her lover every second as if she will wither and die if she leaves his side, and Jake hunts Gretchen down every free living moment he has.


I suppose I'll have to weather out the disgusting storm of nasty boyfriends until they end their relationships and fabulousness is restored.


NOW LETS TALK SPICEAYYYYYYYYYYYY
OK, so I was in burlington all weekend and friday, and let me tell you it was overflowing with gorgeous people and class. Oh yes, the conditions were prime for me to go THONG SHOPPING and it was FABULOUS. I bought tons and tons of sexy thongs; I LOVE christmas shopping. (dont be mistaken; just having me as a friend is good enough of a Christmas present to last a thousand years, but I enjoy supplementing my fabulousness with a little dash of kinkiness). The thongs are so cute, I bought at least three for most of my close friends- Susan, Charlotte, Gretchen etc., it was just so fun. There is nothing quite like when a fabulous person gets to have a fabulous time because its just FABULOUS. Ahhhhh...it was wonderful, thank god for gifting us with the art of shopping, it sustains my life.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

A Party Sprinkled with Orgasmic Spiciness

So this weekend I went to my friend Jenna's party and got a ride from Mrs Sweetcheeks along with Charlotte, Susan and Jeffery. Ok, this post is going to be filled with juice so I am going to have to separate each of the many topics that it will cover by paragraphs. Even the car ride was sexy which made up for the slight mediocrity of the party. It was a sweet 16 which made it all the more elaborate and fabulous than your basic party, which is just a prime environment for me to unleash my fabulousness and let it roam free to amaze the unsuspecting public.

Lets start out with the unconditionally sexy car ride. I called Charlotte and asked for a ride to the party knowing that she would say yes (why the hell would she ever pass up the opportunity to spend a little more time with me?) Then she tells me that Jeffery will also be tagging along for the ride (at that point I almost said "of course, I saw that one coming", but then I remembered that that night was Charlotte's night (for potential love making) so I backed off and decided that I would begrudgingly accept Jeffery's presence. The car ride actually turned out to be much more sexy than I had expected (specially with Jeffery being there). It was just a lovely time where I was able to allow my mind to spew all of its sexy thoughts all over everyone in the car, and they all loved it (Mrs Sweetcheeks pretended that my comments werent appropriate for her, but I know that she actually LOVES them but pretends not to because she has to play the role of the responsible adult).

Jeffery was actually quite sociable and, I cant believe Im saying this, was also quite pleasurable to have around. I find myself to be warming up to Jeffery and I dont like it because I hate him for the fact that he is Charlottes lover, but he actually has a decent personality so I like him at the same time, this is so not fabulous, my mixed feelings have foiled my ability to either like or hate this guy. So anyway, Jeffery really isnt that bad (ONLY as far as personality goes, other things like style, cleanliness, sexiness, all the things you need to be completely fabulous, etc. have little presence or are completely absent as far as he goes) I guess the point is that I find him acceptable to socialize with, though he is nowhere near as fabulous as me so dont be mistaken.

Once we joined the party, the spiciness shot off the charts. Gretchen was there (which is a whole different story for later on) and me and Susan got to dance and show off how well dressed and sexy we were and how simply overall magnificent we are. Trish and Violet were there, (taking up the opportunity to walk out on the dance floor and act like complete whores), god they dissapoint me sometimes. For the most part, Gretchen and Susan were graced with my stunning presence throughout the duration of the party (and i know they loved it). The party had an abundant amount of downfalls (food that tasted like burnt poop, pathetic floor plan, gaudy decorations) but all of the fall backs could be looked over since me, Charlotte, and Susan were there to fill in the gaps with our wonderous selves.

About half way into the party, Charlotte and Jeffery embarked on a seemingly never ending very public display of their affection for eachother that everyone noticed. They were hungrily embracing one another in that horny way, sucking on eachothers faces like lollipops. I mean, thats the way it seemed at least, they were actually nuzzling most of the time but it looked like they were smooching like there was no tomorrow. Now, I had known this was going to happen for a LONG time, I can smell those types of things like a fiesty cougar hunting down a zebra, but I really didnt want to believe that it would happen none the less. The moment I looked over and saw them out on the balcony, I was so overwhelmingly happy for Charlotte that I almost peed my pants and then a second later I was fuming with anger (And let me tell you, I am normally HOT if you catch my drift, but then I felt like a firey unforgiving blast of fury). I actually thought I was going to burn them with my vicious glance. I know that I can get pretty pissy sometimes, but I have rarely been that pissed in my entire life.

I really dont like seeing other men touch Charlotte, it makes me territorial. I am way to protective over her and when I saw her and Jeffery giving eachother some lovin I just had to force myself to look away because otherwise I would have uncontrollably walked over there and like torn his head off or something. This is just another instance of mixed feelings, and I always want whatever is going to make Charlotte happy to come true so my anger will never get in the way of that. I guess its good that I care so much about Charlotte, I just have to keep my feelings under control because, trust me, you dont want to set this sexy little love kitten on fire, otherwise your going to get clawed.


It was nice to get to be sexy with Gretchen for once without her lover Matt getting in the way. I was so damn happy that he wasnt invited to the party that I just had to share my joy with Gretchen (she wasnt too thrilled about how happy I was, but whatever, Im way better than Matt anyway so he can take that and shove it up his butt). Gretchen and I got down and dirty on the dance floor and made everybody jelous of how fabulous we are, which is always a nice experience. Theres still a lot of tention between me and Gretchen regarding Matt, much more so than the tension between me and Charlotte regarding Jeffery (since Charlotte understands how I am fabulous which gives me the right to feel however I want about other people). Matt is just one of those people that you get a bad feeling about, like he doesnt want what is best for Gretchen or doesnt really care about her enough. He is just a big douche who is wider than he is tall and basically looks like something a cat would puke up on the carpet. I dont want Gretchen to get hurt, but I guess I cant intervine because she is happy for the time being.

So overall, it was a decent night by the end of which Charlotte and Jeffery officially became lovers. And thank GOD they did, because doing the kinky things that they were doing and not being official is just absolutely trashy. I dont know how their love is going to turn out, but I do have a good feeling about Jeffery's intentions, he is a good person; but he is Charlottes lover and I hate him.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

OH YES; The Kiss

I have been saying it was bound to happen (and am I ever wrong about things like sexual relationships; NO), So of course, as usual, I was right; Charlotte has finally taken the first MASSIVE step up the love making staircase with her new lover.

I just barely caught wind of this little bit of info late in the day. I didnt want to pressure her into telling me about her kinky little relationships or anything, so I try and wait for it to come naturally. I knew she would tell me anyway, Charlotte and I have a sixth sense, and that sense is the FABULOUS sense; its when two fabulous people can just tell what each other are thinking because only they can pick up on the signals of fabulousness floating through the air.

So it actually happened on Halloween (I think). Of course Charlotte had to push for it because Jeffery had no clue what he was doing (we all saw that one coming). He didnt even try to kiss her before he left the house OR on the front steps which is where it is ALWAYS supposed to be done (once again, I am not surprised). So he walks all the way to his car and gets ready to pull away with Charlotte standing there in the doorway clearly wanting some spiciness to satisfy her sexual lust. Charlotte had to run out to his car and practically force him to kiss her (that doesnt mean he didnt want to kiss her, because TRUST me, he definately did, she is WAY better than him, he just was too afraid or nervous). But anyway, she basically asked for it, literally, and she got it.

Now i'm not going to get carried away here because it was really just a peck on the lips, but let me tell you; knowing Charlotte (because we are so similar) she definately wants to get a little naughtier than that, because a peck is just far to tame. Me and Charlotte are not caged lions, we are free roaming beasts, and we like to get naughty, so thats basically how I know she wanted more than what she got. But, then again, the guy she has right now is pathetic so it will probably take a while for him to even attain the level of kinkiness (if possible) to Charlottes satisfaction. Charlotte will not simply settle for a mear peck on the lips, she longs for more, (and trust me, you can bet your sweet ass that she has done MUCH more than that in her day)


I'm still REALLY excited, because this means that we are in business as far as this relationship goes, and Charlotte will eventually get her sexual gratification. So I cant help but live vicariously through her, because we are just so similar and perfect that it almost makes me tearfull.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Susan, you are simply Charming (but so am I)

Yet again I had to deal with the perception that Charlotte is a bitch and Susan is the nice one of the two sisters. Susan really is fabulous and much more accommodating than Charlotte is, I just happen to understand Charlotte's perspective a little better because, us absolutely fabulous folk tend not to be openly wholesome regarding even the most general aspects of our social lives.

Thank god for the difference between the two of them, otherwise I would have no one to talk to when Charlotte is acting like a cranky turd. Not that Charlotte is to blame for ever being cranky, its just so wonderful to have someone who is sexy and kinky like me, who is always in a good mood. Speaking of which, I don't really know why Susan always seems to be in a relatively good mood, its sort of pleasantly strange, to tell you the truth.


Anyway, I have yet to get the latest update on Charlotte's scandalous little love affair with Jeffery (I know that if something didnt happen yet, its coming soon, I can smell immanent love making from a mile away). So that means that you can sit tight because there is a post brewing in the near future that is filled with the scent of sexiness.

Ok this is important. Neither Susan or Charlotte seem to understand why I enjoy spending time with Mrs Sweetcheeks, but really there are so many reasons why I enjoy her that it would take far to much time to list the endless fabulous attributes to her personality that she has. For one thing, she has given me the type of nurturing that my mom didnt live long enough to give me. I am forever in debt to her because of that and I lack the capability to describe her expomentially massive importance to me in words at this point. What I can say is that I understand why she loves me, its because Im fabulous (anybody could figure that out because its so obvious), I mean, what kind of person wouldnt want to spend time with me? Only a trashy idiot. I just simply have this magical aura that surrounds me and everything I touch, it really is my god given talent to leave people smitten with my loveliness.

So anyway, back to the point; Charlotte and Susan will never understand why I love Mrs Sweetcheeks because they have never suffered the unbearable horrors of loosing a parent and they dont realize how damn lucky they are. I envy them SO much and would litterally give anything to have what they have and that is why I enjoy Mrs Sweetcheeks.
GOD it just pisses me off when they tell me Im a freak for hanging out with Mrs Sweetcheeks when they really dont fucking understand.
Plus, you know, there is just a well coated fine layer of fabulousness on top of us and we are just the best anyway so, you know, fabulous people just go together.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A Lovely Day of Absolutely Nothing

So today was really crappy, actually, by crappy I mean deliciously filled with relaxation and basking in my beauty. I did absolutely nothing but lay on the sofa and almost went insane because I spent so much time with my fabulous self that it almost overwhelmed me.

I did speak with Gretchen, and it was quite SEXY. We talked about her lover's buns (among other things....). It was VERY enjoyable after doing nothing all day. I wanted to see a movie with her but old Gretchen is just so frisky that she happens to get herself in trouble every time she turns a corner so her mom grounded her. But anyway, the conversation was more than sufficient to fulfill my sexiness quota for the day. Hopefully me and her will see a movie soon or something (without her boyfriend because I just wont allow that).

Anyway, the whole point of this is just to say how great Gretchen is when you need someone to talk to. She is just one of those people that is always there when you need to have a sexy moment (which is more than I can say for Charlotte, but what can I say? Me and Charlotte are busy and fabulous people so we dont always have time to cater to each others sexy needs).

Monday, November 3, 2008

My sexy matter of opinion......

Just the notion of Jeffery puts Mrs Sweetcheeks and Karen on the offensive. I didnt have time to make a post about this last week so I decided to wait until I really felt like bitching about it. This actually occurred last thursday when I went to see Charlotte's/Susan's/Gretchen's/Trish's soccer game. We had a long car ride there and Mrs Sweetcheeks drove me (I could tell that she absolutely loved having me with her, because there really quite simply isnt anything better). Karen was with me and Mrs Sweetcheeks. Of course, there had to be some conversation about my immense displeasure with Jeffery. So naturally as Mrs Sweetcheeks and Karen advocate him (I have no clue why the hell anyone would) I have to constantly play on the defensive side to back up my opinions.

Don't ask me why they bothered to tell me how 'great' Jeffery is when I know that they love me precipituously more than him anyway because I am just so much better that it is insulting to compare the both of us and even the notion of a comparison is making me queezy so ill stop. First of all, they fail to recognize the fact that the guy has absolutely no taste or sense of social nature. Ok he's nice, ill give him that, however he is VERY impolite. He didnt even thank me for the sweater OR give it back to me. GOD, the longer he waits to give it back the more time it has to get infected with his nastiness. Secondly, he has no class or kinkiness AT ALL. Top that all off with the fact that he is too modest and it is just one big pile of useless poop.


The worst part about it is Mrs Sweetcheeks and Karen think just because he is such a 'nice' boy that he is just a wonderful person. The also think that because I hate him, that must mean that I am not in favor of what makes Charlotte happy which is just the most massive pile of shit in the world. I love Charlotte and support her ALWAYS, but I am not going to mask my true opinions cause that is just retarded.

So this whole car ride I constantly defend myself (mainly against Karen) and I obviously didnt get through to her because she just got all frustrated. Oh well, Ill give it some time for her to realize just how wonderful I am, and that is what it all comes down to. But GOD it pisses me off to have her think that, specially because I care a lot about Karen and her opinions. If it was just some douche that I didnt care about that was saying that, then I couldnt give a damn less. People just really need to analyze a situation before they make assumptions because it makes me mad. Plus, Im sick of professing my love and support for Charlotte OVER and OVER again just to prove that I always support her cause its getting old.

Ok, I will just forget about thursday and move on to something that pissed me off today. Charlotte tells me that she is "too busy" to see me at her house tomorrow. WHAT A PILE OF BULLSHIT. Pardon me, but have I not mentioned before that there is no such thing as being to busy to have time for me? I think I have. I will try and keep my cool for a moment here, since it is true that Charlotte cant spend all of her time with me, but I BARELY get to see her in school and it SUCKS.

What I was thinking was that when Charlotte spends time with me it is really the same thing as spending time with herself since we are so similar, so therefore by my reasoning, there would be no difference between me being at her house and not being there. We are both so fabulous and similar that we are basically the same person, so if she is spending time with herself it might as well be me. This realization kind of sucks cause it makes me realize that I should have approached Susan to come over her house instead, since Susan and me are different enough to make it worth it to see eachother as often as possible. Damn, it really sucks having someone else as perfect and fabulous as you are that is your friend, god being absolutely wonderful really isnt as easy as it looks.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Jeffery: Maybe not so bad (but still pretty bad)

So I spent a large portion of Halloween night at Charlottes house and, of course, the second I walk in, I see Charlotte and Jeffery at the table eating. My first instinct was to simply throw up or something in order to display my great displeasure in seeing them together. It really sucks thinking someone is so nasty while still being overjoyed about how happy your friend is.

I walked over to the table and begrudgingly sat down at the table with a smile on my face that made me look like I had just caught a wiff of cow shit and was attempting to make it seem as though I didnt smell anything. We made small talk, and all of a sudden I realized that Jeffery realy doesnt suck as much as I thought he did (of course, i was thinking of him out of the context of being Charlottes lover). I found out that he actually can be social, unfortunatley he acts like a mindless dick unless he is around someone he knows well like Charlotte when you meet him. It was actually quite entertaining having a conversation with him. Im pretty sure Charlotte's presence was the only thing giving the guy the incentive to socialize, he was probably popping a huge boner underneath the table just looking at her.

What I do have to say is that I still unconditionally hate him because of how he is Charlottes lover, but I like him at the same time. I wish I could just say I hate him, but I cant because Charlotte loves him and he actually acts like a normal human when he is around Charlotte and not just a human shaped turd.

Ive been pissed off at Karen's perception regarding my opinion of Jeffery. She just doesnt understand why I hate him. He really is disgusting, but she thinks that I despise him in spite of the fact that Charlotte likes him, which I dont. I ALWAYS support Charlotte, but I am not going to act like a mindless ass and not let anyone now my opinion. Like I have mentiond MANY times before; Charlottes happiness is everything to me, and therefore I support her relationship even though I HATE her nasty little lover. Karen just doesnt get that I can care about Charlotte while still hating her lover and it really makes me want to bitch out on her (but i'll control myself because I love Karen and just because she misunderstands one thing doesnty invalidate my friendship with her. THANK GOD I have Susans opinion to validate my feelings for Jeffery, otherwise I might just weep because of how no one would realize how vile that creature is.

On the other hand, I have yet to hear about the outcome of Charlottes steamy Halloween outing with Jeffery and I REALLY want to know how it went. Specially because I want my sweater back so I can start washing it 100 times, but also because I want to know if there was any love making (and trust me, I wouldnt put it past Charlotte for there to be any love making). Just talking about me and Charlotte reminds me of how we are just the best, so I felt like saying that. But anyway, this is REALLY exciting because Charlotte has wanted to begin the precursers to love making desparately, but all Jeffery has been doing is sitting there like a mindless jellyfish while she awaits him to make the first move towards a long spicy love making session. Perhaps I should befriend Jeffery and prompt him to scurry down sexy path of sexiness so that Charlotte could actually get something hot out of this whole relationship. I wont do anything without consulting Charlotte first (plus I really dont want to associate with Jeffery so hopefully it doesnt come down to me befriending him).

While I was at Charlottes house Gretchen, Susan, Karen, Jeffery and Mrs Sweetcheeks were all there at once, so let me tell you, that house was bursting at the seams with sexiness (You could actually probably see the sexiness seeping out the windows and doors of the house). It should be illegal for that many sexy people to be together at once. It really reminded me of how fabulous we all are (minus Jeffery because he sort of had a negative impact on the sexy factor). Me, Gretchen and Charlotte rarely get to be together anymore (if at all) and it was really spicy to have us all back together for a little while. I love the holidays, there is always the scent of orgasmic love making in the air, (plus the scent and aura of sexiness that me and Charlotte provide year round). Believe me, more spiciness has yet to come, from now till christmas I will have plenty to bitch and be sexy about.