The Friends of Mr Bitch

These are my closest friends (at my high school). It is a very selective and exclusive club to belong to. To be added to it is the highest honor someone can receive from me. Every individual on the list must meet numerous extensive requirements in order to be included. Mainly, they have to be unquestionably fabulous and worthy of my presence in their lives.


1.) Charlotte: My Clone; Kinky and scandalous yet innocent (well maybe not so much my clone on the innocent part). Keep in mind that when I say 'innocent' it really means that she is a 'kinky sex fiend' to normal people. We are so similar that we fight incessantly. She can be obnoxious, although so can I and we tend to clash unless we are both in a good mood. Our favorite thing to do is enjoy a nice conversation about how and why we are better than most people. The amusing thing is, we really are and we can't even help it, its just fact. She has been the subject of rumors and retarded conversations which I always have to step in and correct, because some people just run their mouths regardless of the shit flowing out of them.We both get annoyed REALLY easily (well, perhaps her more than me). She upsets me sometimes without realizing it (well perhaps we upset each other but I havn't heard from her about that). She tends to neglect the fact that I require lots of maintenance and delicate care as a friend. One thing I really can't go without mentioning is the fact that we have amazing, heart stopping thighs and gorgeous hineys.Emma: Very innocent. Our personalities don't necessarily complement eachother, but we are different in all the right places. Her modesty and my audacity mingle well together, leading to enjoyable laughs and some slightly awkward moments. She always acts fun and caring no matter what mood she might be in. Nothing brings her down and I love her for it.

2.) Gretchen: Used to be innocent until recently. With horrible taste, but I love her. Our boisterous behavior and outlandish shopping sprees bring us together. Lately we have been growing apart due to some, umm, rather poor decisions on her part, but thats a matter of taste. Me and Charlotte tend to agree on her many faults, but those are what we love her for. I think me and Charlotte need someone to balance our perfection with imperfection which is what makes us love her so much. She is layed back and hilarious. Lately, I have been questioning her judgment in men AND her ability to put prioritize her friends.

3.) Karen: A lethal concoction of childish and kinky personas. VERY innocent, yet comprehensively horny in conversation. She can be childish at times, but whenever she is; its hilarious and I love it. Ask almost anyone that doesn't know her well and they will say that she is a repulsive, obnoxious ass, but the opposite is true once you get below the surface. At first we were friends by association, I even disliked her at first. However, those feelings quickly deminished and we are now amazing together. She HATES my lack of modesty with an exponential passion, but I think its because she knows that, in reality, I have nothing to be modest about and she doesnt like it. I find her increasingly fabulous to spend time with and i don't know why, probably because Ive forgotten the childish kinkiness that I once had and she gives me big sexy helpings of it all the time.

4.) Ms. Bitch: My hoe, we are both chauvinistic assholes but that is part of what makes us so damn alluring. We are both eachothers bitches and we treat eachother as such. It's been a never ending ride of amazingness and good taste for me and Mrs Bitch. We do dissagree, but usually only on meaningless matters. Overall, me and her together are the best thing since sliced bread.

5.) Susan: Probably my best friend in school and social love-making partner. She won't admit it but there is no way that she could ever live without me and how the hell can I blame her? We are the ultimate duo. So scandalous and sexy together that it would be difficult for someone to fathom how fabulous we are. We have similar ideals and respectable boundaries. She is not necessarily the most classy person I know; that would be Charlotte (since Charlotte is basically me with boobies), but we complement each other to a point of perfection with our opposite viewpoints on certain topics. I have the ability to read her like a book, despite her claims that I can't. She is neither innocent or kinky, but she does balance the two more perfectly than anyone I know. Let me tell you, she gets around, despite the common assumption that she is totally innocent. I envy this, because I am usually either in a kinky or bland/innocent mood, but can't mold them together.

6.) Trish: My first friend in the high school that I currently attend. She is by far the most gossipy friend I have. Contrary to popular belief, she is not just some hyper gossiping slut; she has excellent taste in most things. She is a little bit too much of a socialite for my taste at times, but still acceptably classy. We really bond when it comes to discussing our scandalous nature. We are both straight forward and don't hold ourselves back when it comes to discussing even the naughtiest thoughts. Trish brings out the carefree extreme lovehound that usually lies dormant within me.

7.) Violet: A slut; hands down. It is sad and i don't take pleasure in saying it. However, most, if not all would agree with me. She has a totally trashed social reputation, on her own behalf. My respect for her dignity and opinions is absolutely zero. She thoughtlessly sleeps with men and projects a 'dumb slut' mentality, when she is actually fairly smart. I think that she has squandered potential intellect and respect. We are friends by association, but I do enjoy making casual conversation with her, but I fear that if I get into kinky conversation territory, she will just mention something nasty about her vagina hurting during sex and make me want to vomit. She is nice and simple, I love her kindness, but its upsetting to see someone so lacking in the classy and moral department.

8.) Mrs Sweetcheeks: She won't be the topic of conversation too often, (who the hell am I kidding, she probably will be) but I have to mention her because she THE most fabulous adult I have met. She means far more to me than she knows and she loves me because of how wonderful I am. It isn't really her choice of whether or not she wants to love me, since she is so smitten with my fabulousness that she couldnt give me up even if she wanted too. This is ok, since I think she is equally classy and lovely, (lets just say we are both the greatest people ever) She tends to be far more modest than I am, but my outlandish arrogance is just so wonderful that it doesnt matter.