A person's class is definitely the most vulnerable aspect of their personality. Lately (and unfortunately) I have been noticing how quickly it can deteriorate in some of my friends. Of course, I have to bitch about Trish first since she seems to have come down with the worst case of classiness deterioration that I have ever seen. Even Ms Bitch agrees with me and she is usually much more conservative in making assumptions than I am. I would still like to think that it is not happening to Trish. But if Ms Bitch notices, then it is not just me. Trish seems to live off of being the center of attention; absolutely not classy. Thank god there are people like me and the friends that I have (well the ones that I know won't let themselves become nasty) that are willing to preserve their classiness. I'm hoping that Trish's latest conquest for attention will be short lived, so I'll go forth with that mentality for another week and if she doesn't change by then, then I'll have to intervene. It will not be pretty if I have to stop her from this socially careless behavior, how humiliating on her behalf.
Gretchen is a whole other story, I could literally go on for hours, but nobody wants to hear that much about her. Let me just remind you that I love her and that she is one of my best friends, but its just bullshit if anyone is going to pretend that their is absolutely nothing about their friends that annoys them. Gretchen has taken a recent plunge into the realm of fashion disaster, I really wish I could tell people she was color blind or something to compensate for her taste in clothing. Today she was dressed in red and yellow, which is fabulous if you work at McDonald's, but not if you actually have a social life. The whole fashion thing is beyond me, plus me and Charlotte enjoy critiquing her terrible taste so I might as well not attempt to change it. You can't really 'change' somebody's taste anyway, its a sort of concrete asset, which can be fortunate for some and horrific for others.
The real problem with Gretchen is her 'significant other'. Actually, calling him significant is an extreme overstatement. He is about four feet tall and three feet wide. Like a little muscular munchkin who hit puberty at birth; nasty. Every time you see him it makes you picture him with green hair and orange skin hopping around in munchkin land. The best example of his personality I can give is that he is basically a giant erect penis looking for something to rub itself up against for pleasure. There is nothing I will love more than the day I see them break up, which is technically horrible since Gretchen will probably be upset, but I wont be able to contain the look of joy that will beam from my face. Its not like i'll be happy that she is upset anyway, just that the huge douche is out of her life. Most people have some sort of potential to be classy or have taste, he is none of the above. Basically a lost cause and just nasty, he looks like a giant steroid with freckles.
Thank god I have Charlotte to think of whenever I question whether or not the world has run out of classiness. If she were not around then it would only be me with classiness and nobody to share it with since no one would be able to understand how wonderful I am. Sometimes its hard to be fabulous and watch other people suffer a lack of such. (which almost everybody lacks somewhat but me and Charlotte)
The one and only (lovely)
-Mr Bitch
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