A Painfully Sexy Week Ahead

So I get a call at 6:10pm, (of course I was busy admiring my reflection in the mirror or something at the time). I open the phone and realize that its Charlotte, who left a typical brief message asking me to return her call as soon as possible. That was when I started getting all excited because I thought something REALLY orgasmic had happened and I wanted to be the first to know the details. I called her back twice and on the second time she answered and said she needed a favor (at this point I am still thinking that something exciting and sexy is immanent). She wanted to borrow a sweater for that slime ball Jeffery, of course (at that point I was heavily disappointed, but I hadn't lost hope quite yet because Charlotte sounded excited, and if something is exciting for her than I am always there to support her, despite how foul I might find any of her affiliates)

Keep in mind that I love everything about Charlotte, except for every single man in her life (excluding family). So I figure it isn't to asshole-ish of me to hate all of her men since, as I have said before, they take up valuable time that could be spent with me, and I just simply hate anybody that takes a slice of my Charlotte cake. Just remember that whenever I disclose how absolutely repulsive any boy in her life is, I am still there for her 100% and would never back away.

So anyway, I immediately become excited since because I simply cant help myself from doing so whenever a perfectly fabulous person is excited (the only perfectly fabulous people being me and Charlotte), so basically sexy people are vicarious towards one another by nature.

She told me that her and Jeffery are going to be barbie and ken for Halloween. (The idea of Jeffery dressing up as if to give the impression that he is actually classy almost made me throw up all over the restaurant parking lot that I was standing in at the time). Then again, the idea of being barbie and ken is absolutely fabulous because Charlotte will get to dress up all sexy and have a reason to look absolutely orgasmic on Halloween. Charlotte asked if she could borrow one of my sweaters for him to wear to make him look sexy (and by sexy I mean still absolutely disgusting, just a little closer to sexy than he is currently).

Honestly, what really makes me sick is that the guy doesnt even own a fricken decent sweater, I mean JESUS, who the hell has a fashion sense that is that truly distasteful? And to I add to that, he doesnt even KNOW anybody with a sense of fashion that actually owns a sweater, I felt so much pity for his sense of taste that I almost wanted to cry. DEAR GOD, and I thought it was bad the day Gretchen wore clashing colors, this makes her seem like a fashion goddess. Aside from that, I truly can't blame Charlotte for asking me for something sexy for him to wear, (I mean, really, is there anybody else she could possibly ask that would do a better job at outfitting someone fashionably? the answer is NO).

The only truly exciting thing about this for me is that something kinky is bound to go down on halloween night. Think about it, the prospects are at a piont of pure perfection. I couldnt really think of a better way for Charlotte to get the chance to get down and dirty then to find a reason to dress up all kinky and sexy along with her man. I am SO excited for her that I think Im going to need to spank myself just to calm down. The conditions are ripe for something JUICY to happen in Charlotte's life, and I get to be the sexy and perfect friend to watch and help her along the way. (which is almost as good as being the one getting some action myself because Charlotte is basically me)

Whenever I hate the idea of something Charlotte is doing, I just have to ignore it, as long as she is happy, cause thats all that really matters to me. If she needs to borrow anything or any sort of help, I will be there to provide it for her, no matter what the circumstances are. Thats how you know you really care about someone (cause let me tell you Jeffery is REALLY damn nasty and I support Charlotte's relationship with him). Whenever I am doing the most that I can possibly do to make sure that she is happy, I am happy (and sexy). All it really comes down to is her happiness, so nothing else is going to ever get in the way of me wanting the best for her, which is whatever she defines it to be.

So, if I just pretend that she is dating someone absolutely drop dead sexy, then I should be able to get away without cringing every time I think about who she is dating. I also have to consider how much I should wash that sweater after he wears it, probably like a few shmillion times.